I am pretty good at shaking things off. Something comes hurling at my head, I am usually swift enough to see it and deal with it rationally. But there is a situation scurrying around my brain and body that is giving me stomach ulcers - I can feel it. The problem isn't about school or home life, it's about a fantastic experience I could be apart of that would no doubt be a great adventure to say I have done. But still, despite the doors it could open, and the things I might be able to take part in there is still this annoying feeling of concern and worry is lingering. I'm not afraid, trust me when I say there is no fear in the situation before me, for I see worry and fear two different things. However, there is this strange feeling, that glass half empty feeling that is just taking over my life! So here's the story, the situation, you will now get a glimpse into my crazy brain.
I have the chance to go to Honduras for 6 weeks over the summer, to be apart of an archeological dig! The excitement that this brings comes rushing to me, making my brain fill with interest, I become focused on only this. And that lasts for about 30 seconds. Then my mind begons to play tricks on me, I go from hell yes! to holy shit! in an instant. The amount of money that this trip will cost, the amount of time that I will be spending there, and hell, digging in the ground for six weeks? Is that even fun? Is this trip going to be anything like I think it will? It is so annoying to want something so bad, but be worrying about these things at the same time.
My friends and suitemates are telling me to go. Apply for it. Even if it does suck, it is an experience. And I know they're right. I feel that too. But they aren't sitting here having to deal with asking their parents for 5,000 dollars, having to be in a foreign country for 6 weeks, having their mind wonder constantly about what it is I'm actually going to have to do! It is way too hard. Way too much to be dealing with.
I'm getting details on the trip from the coordinators, and hopefully that will give me a better understanding of what the hell it is I'm supposed to do there. I really want to go because I know as I get older opportunities like this get slimmer and harder to do. I need to do this, I know I want to do this, then why is my brain screwing me like this. Not gonna lie, it's a little annoying.
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Hi Rachel, this is you're friend Amy.
We've been talking about this all week, and honestly I still don't know what to tell you. I feel like i have a tab bit of an insite on this whole situation from being around you so much. And what your parents say is right, but what you say is right too. (Like how i used the right too? ;D) But maybe this is just fates way of being like "You HAVE to go this way." MAYBE you could meet your nice jewish boy this summer, and bam its your husband. Well you would've missed it if you when to honduras.
I'm not dissing the trip, I'm just saying that maybe is a fate thing.
I am really sorry, i know how bad you want this. I hope things work out and I know you can handel it, specially when you tell her what you need to tell her.
Just do this:
"Hey dr. D. I can't go, i still admire you, lets get to class. K? K go."
Short, sweet, and to the point. Maybe she won't even notice :]
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